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Fishing Definitions
Catch
and Release
A conservation motion that happens most often
right before the local Fish and Game officer
pulls over a boat that has caught over its limit.
Hook
(1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish.
(2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman
to spend his life savings on a new rod and reel.
(3) The punch administered by said fisherman's
wife after he spends their life savings (see
also, Right Hook, Left Hook).
Line
Something you give your co-workers when they ask
on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend.
Lure
An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will
drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will
charge his credit card to the limit before
exiting the tackle shop.
Reel
A weighted object that causes a rod to sink
quickly when dropped overboard.
Rod
An attractively painted length of fiberglass that
keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a
fish.
School
A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your
$29.99 lures and hold out for spam instead.
Tackle
What your last catch did to you as you reeled him
in... just before he wrestled free and jumped
back overboard.
Tackle Box
A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive
first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many
sharp objects, so that when you reach in the
wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon
find that you need more than one.
Test
(1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords
an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight
range.
(2) A measure of your creativity in blaming
"that darn line" for once again losing
the fish.
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